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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24932647">Miracle Repellent™ - Courtesy of Stark Industries</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheScarecrowsCrow/pseuds/TheScarecrowsCrow'>TheScarecrowsCrow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(Not Very Good Ones), (little bit), Angst, Aziraphale goes a bit mental, Basically Stephen thinks he's being funny, Bookshop, Cake, Crowley protects Aziraphales cake, Dormammu - Freeform, Euphemisms, Eventual Relationships, Innuendo, M/M, Misunderstandings, but it will all work out so it's fine, but to be fair all these characters are ridiculous - so what do you expect, friday - Freeform, phone teleportation, slight crack!fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:35:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24932647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheScarecrowsCrow/pseuds/TheScarecrowsCrow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some very strange things have been happening to Tony, and he seeks out Dr Strange to get some answers.</p><p>This leads the billionaire on a wild goose chase to London in search of a book - but we all know our resident bookseller A. Z. Fell finds it rather impossible to part with his prized literature.</p><p>A quick snap of the fingers should do the trick... until it doesn't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Tony Stark/Stephen Strange</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Strange things had been happening to Tony. Well, ‘strange’ in so far as </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘stranger than usual’</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was used to ‘strange’. Aliens, gods, mutants, wizards, sentient robots - you name it. Not to mention dying - he’d been dead once. But now he wasn’t - go figure. One minute he was dead, and the next he was lying in the battlefield with family and friends crying over his perfectly-healed and definitely not-dead body. He remembered giving the Wizard Doctor a side-ways glance. He was definitely supposed to die. He also knew the only reason he was alive at all was because of said Wizard Doctor - he had definitely intervened in some way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ever since, Tony had been experiencing stranger than usual occurrences. One moment he was thinking about how much he was craving shawarma and then ‘poof’ - there it was. That seemed to happen a lot. He didn’t seem to tire at all. Specifically, he hadn’t slept since the whole Thanos thing and that was three months ago. The list of unusual occurrences went on, but he knew at this point he had to get answers. He had approached the New York sanctum seeking the Wizard Doctor for answers - and that is how he found himself sitting across from the stony faced Merlin wannabe in a room that looked like something out of a fiction novel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it was you that brought me back. Need you to start explaining what you did cus weird shit’s happening.” He gestured to himself, brows raised as if to emphasize the weirdness of the ‘shit’ in question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Doctor’s eyebrows twitched together in confusion - then in worry, “Oh? What do you mean by ‘weird shit’, exactly?”, lifting his tea with both hands to sip at it. His cloak didn’t really seem to be paying attention, tapping occasionally on the back of the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony waved his hand dismissively, “Oh ye know, making stuff appear when I want it and not sleeping. Like, ever. And I can do this,” he advertised a solid coin in his hand before crushing it in his palm, as easily as if it had been a scrap of paper. He unceremoniously dropped it on the table in front of him - a clear tinkling of metal on wood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stephen winced slightly at the sight of the metal scrap bouncing off the antique and </span>
  <em>
    <span>very expensive</span>
  </em>
  <span> table - the cloak also did not seem impressed by this rude billionaire, angrily twitching - before looking back to Tony, “Yes, well… that does appear to be out of the ordinary.” He looked off to the side, a guilty look crossing his features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to be perfectly honest with you Tony, I’m not too sure. I didn’t really </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything. Not deliberately anyway. But I know I did do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I just wanted you to not be dead and then… You weren’t. The magic that I harnessed… It was old and uncontrollable.” He gave him a meaningful look. The cloak nodded at him, if cloaks could nod.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’re saying that you don’t know what’s happening to me? I need more info than that, Doc. Is there anything else you can tell me?” The doctor seemed to become distant at his words, looking at nothing and seeing everything. There was a battle of emotions across his usually stoic face - contemplation and fear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll admit, there was a feeling. A familiar one. A magic I am sure I have only felt when in the Dark Dimension with Dormammu. I think there might be a connection, but we have very little literature on the subject - it is considered dangerous knowledge.” Strange’s cloak seemed to envelope him, was that some kind of bizarre hug or something?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony nodded imperceptibly, “Oh cool, cool. That’s a good start. Hey Friday, put out a worldwide search for info about this Dormammy guy.” Stephen gave him a skeptical look, but didn’t interrupt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Certainly sir, I have one result. A book called ‘The Reign of Dormammu’ was purchased three years ago by an ‘A. Z. Fell’ at auction. He owns a bookstore in Soho, London. He is believed by local law enforcement to be involved with the mob because of his unexplainably perfect finances and the fear that local criminals express toward him. No one knows what the ‘A’ or the ‘Z’ stand for, and there is no corroborating paperwork. I can’t find any information on why people have not investigated this. Do you want me to get the Quinjet prepared for immediate take off?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Tony could reply in affirmative, Stephen raised a shaky gloved hand to stop him. He glanced at his own trembling hand briefly before returning it to his tea with an indeterminable look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can use the London entrance. It will drop you off in central London. Do you wish me to accompany you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah I think I’ll be fine,” Friday projects an image of this ‘A. Z. Fell’ between the two of them, “Pfft, mob? Yeah, sure. Guy looks like a pushover, I think I’ll be fine. If I do need back-up I’ll be sure to call for ya Tinkerbell, so make sure you leave your phone off silent. Oh, and keep your magic dust to yourself - I’m already experiencing weird stuff, the last thing I need is to start flying whenever I think of Jack Daniels.” The projection in front of him disappears and he hoists himself up, heading towards the exit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, drop me off in London.” He glances over his shoulder, encouraging the scowling Wizard to get a move on. As he starts to follow him, he could swear that the cloak was sniggering somehow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony stood outside of the bookshop, admiring the old building that read ‘A. Z. Fell and Co.’, impressed with its unimpressiveness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think Friday, look mob-y to you?” He started to head toward the front door, grasping the handle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It certainly is inconspicuous enough, sir.” Friday chimed in his ear, happy to give her input.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed the door open, taking account of his new surroundings. This guy clearly had a book fetish, no one has this many books just to read ‘em. Standing surreptitiously behind the register leafing through a ledger is the man in question. He had bleach-blonde hair, soft features and looked like he had stepped straight out of a book himself given how historical his attire looked - was he some kind of cosplayer?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You, ‘A. Z. Fell’. Hey there. Tony Stark, billionaire. Pleasure. Looking for a book. Heard I could get it here.” He strode purposefully across the room, hand outstretched to shake the other’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘A. Z. Fell’ did not look particularly impressed by this American intruder and his face certainly expressed this, a tight lipped smile that didn’t reach his eyes strained painfully. He reluctantly shook this goateed man’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm yes... that’s certainly debatable at the moment. Do you have a particular title in mind?” A. Z. Fell gave Tony the up and down and was not overly impressed by this man’s demeanour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, lookin’ for ‘The Reign of Dormammu’. You ever heard of it?” Tony moved forward to lean his elbows on the table that held the till.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> A. Z. Fell’s face seemed to light-up once he considered his words, “Oh, yes! In actual fact I have the sole copy of that book in the entire world, isn’t it marvelous?” A dreamy look captured his face as he clasped his hands together, “First edition, signed, and no copies were ever made!” He froze, expression turning steely, “Oh, and incidentally - not for sale. My apologies dear boy, but I am not willing to part with it.” A. Z. Fell crossed his arms and huffed, looking at Tony down his nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony scoffed at this man’s overly-dramatic actions, it was like watching a pantomime unfold before his eyes,“Money’s no object, whatever you want you can have it. A villa by the beach in Miami filled with scantily-clad women? It’s yours. Point me in the direction of the book and let’s get this over with.” His hand waved brusquely back and forth in a ‘Let’s get on with this’ motion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh honestly, how crass - I think it’s time for you to leave and just forget that my lovely bookshop ever existed.” The man looked incredibly perturbed by Tony’s suggestion, and raised a hand to snap his fingers. Silence stretched out between them, and the blonde man’s eyebrows furrowed together. He snapped his fingers again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that? What’s that thing you're doing? Snappity, snappity, what-what? Is this an English thing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A. Z. Fell’s eyes widened comically in fear as he tried in vain to snap a few more times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh-um, do you not wish to leave? Inexplicably even?” he stammered, as if it was entirely obvious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you on about? Are you about to break out into song and dance and this finger snapping is just foreplay or somethin’?” Tony gave him a couple of finger guns and a questioning look, thinking this was some weird English tradition that he didn’t understand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll have to excuse me!” The man backed away from him in fear, before bolting toward the phone. He snatched it off its hook and trembling fingers turned the rotary dial, never for a second taking his eyes off of Tony. Bizarre.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a moment, a happy buzz from the receiver indicated that someone had picked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Crowley! Crowley there’s an emergency! There’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>human </span>
  </em>
  <span>here and he’s trying to buy a book!” Tony could practically hear the long-suffering sigh that followed the comment. Also, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>human’</span>
  </em>
  <span>? This was the last thing he needed - more freakin’ aliens.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no you don’t understand! He won’t leave!” A. Z. Fell twirled the phone cord between his fingers, curling in on himself in a vain attempt to hide his conversation with the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He abruptly pulled the phone away from his face to glare at it, “My dear boy, do you think me </span>
  <em>
    <span>naive</span>
  </em>
  <span>? My miracles aren’t working on this fiend!”, more contemplative buzzing came from the speaker and the man nodded his head to the side in unhappy consideration. He looked over to a nearby table, and snapped his fingers once more. Inexplicably, a giant red velvet cake appeared where there had previously been nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck?! How did you do that?!” Tony pointed dumbly at the cake. Yes, he seemed to be able to randomly produce stuff out of thin air nowadays, but not on command!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Crowley I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> having performance anxiety, I just tried to bring a cake into existence and I’m getting on just fine - </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> the problem! He could be dangerous!” He glared purposefully at Tony, as if he had personally offended him, “Incidentally, the cake looks delicious…” The man seemed to pause - as though forgetting Tony’s existence - to stare longingly at the cake. Quite abruptly he turned back to the billionaire after a tinny voice shouted at him angrily through the receiver, ”Yes, yes quite right… it’s just that it’s red velvet...” The man pouted, admonished.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this cake? Is this here? Friday, scan it. How? What kind of energy transfer was that? You can’t just make somethin’ outta nothin’, I’ve watched Fullmetal Alchemist - I know how this shit works.” Tony approached the cake and started poking at the icing. The man gave him a look that said he had committed the most egregious sin - mouth agape and eyes accusing, morphing as he shut his mouth. He honestly looked like he might cry for a moment - lip trembling slightly. This was quickly righted after the phone gave a questioning buzz, and he gave the receiver a conspiratol look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes that’s a splendid idea, quickly as you can now my boy, he’s poking his grubby fingers all over my cake - barbaric fiend.” The receiver almost exploded with furious rebuttal, Tony could make out vague phrases like “</span>
  <em>
    <span>How dare he!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” and “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Al’ kill him!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”. The man seemed to be mollified that someone else was so offended that the sanctity of the cake had been breached, but then he immediately started spluttering, “No! No Crowley that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> a euphemism! I meant the red velvet cake, not-” his breath hitched as he twirled the phone cord around his fingers tightly. Changing the subject, he swiftly moved on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, are you still driving? You best not come here until you’ve pulled over or your Bentley will go careening into nearby pedestrians. It’s almost as dangerous having you </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> behind the wheel as it is when you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> driving!” The man gave the phone a coy look, wiggling at what he thought was a very witty observation indeed. More angry noises spewed forth from the speaker, causing the blonde’s pleased grin to drop, “Well, there really is no need for that. You are known for your reckless behaviour - and that is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>kind </span>
  </em>
  <span>description on my part.” he sighed heavily, thoroughly put out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’ll aim away from myself, I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want a repeat of what happened last time. It did take ever so long to get all of the wrinkles out of my coat.” A slight blush creeped up the man’s neck, a dazed expression briefly passing his features, before he aimed the phone off to the right and squared Tony with a bastard-smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do say, ‘fire away’!” he was once again grinning pompously at his own humour - did this guy ever just, you know, settle on an emotion? It must be exhausting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Tony was contemplating this, he was immediately taken aback by </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> flying out of the phone. A mass of blurry pixels that seemed to form into a man came shooting out. Said man may have been able to right himself, but he had unfortunately landed a foot on a piece of scrap paper. He went flying backwards with the force of his landing, and fell flat on his back. He didn’t so much as even groan in pain before he raised himself up on his elbows and took stock of his surroundings, finishing on Tony - looking him up and down to gauge the threat. He swung his right leg over his body, twisting to rest his head on his left elbow - grinning lasciviously and looking very ‘paint me like one of your french girls’.  His hair looked as if it had been dyed an unnatural dark shade of red, and his eyes were completely obscured by some rather fashionable shades - even Tony could admit this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Waaaait this is the one that’s giving you bother? He’s only a wee slip of a human.” He pointed lazily at Tony, glancing up at A. Z. Fell to give him an unimpressed look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde man looked put out, gesturing wildly at Tony, “Well, if he is so easily dealt with, why don’t you do the honours my dear boy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh yeah sure, no bother. But you owe me one, Angel.” This Crowley raised his hand and started to snap his fingers in a very similar fashion to the way A. Z. Fell had earlier. Tony was starting to think asking for back-up might be the best course of action.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Friday, do us a favour, tell the Doc I’m starting to feel a bit outnumbered here. Thanks Girl.” Tony took a tentative step back from the bizarre couple in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem sir, I’ll take care of it immediately.” Somewhere in the New York Sanctum, a Sorcerer Supreme received an SOS.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The red head continued to angrily snap his fingers, “Why aren’t you leaving? Who’s the woman? Where is she?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My AI called Friday, created her a while back. As to where she is, she’s everywhere.”, Tony started pointing emphatically at the skinny man, “ Back to you. You're new. You appeared through the phone. That was interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
<span>A. Z. Fell looked rather troubled at this revelation, “What’s an AI, Crowley?”</span>
 </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Artificial intelligence - you know a computer that can think for itself and learn stuff, Angel.” A dismissive hand suggested that AIs were not a particularly big deal, and Friday found herself rather unimpressed with the attitude.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh that sounds wonderful!” The blonde took on that dreamy look again, before looking somewhat abashed, “...If somewhat blasphemous. Mr… Stark was it? I hope you don’t think yourself a God.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony scoffed, “Nah only on days that end in ‘Y’. So, we weren’t able to get a name on you - take it the ‘A’ stands for ‘Angel’? Mind if I call you Angie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The red head bristled, “He minds! He definitely minds. The ‘A’ does </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>stand for anything. It’s just an ‘A’ really.” he trailed off as he finished his tirade. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A faint buzzing noise suddenly penetrates the silence of the bookshop as sparks start to dance in the air. The owner of the bookshop and his companion look on in a disturbed fascination as the sparks grow wider - wide enough for a man to step through (which is exactly what happened). Strange stepped through the portal, attempting to grimace at the sudden call to arms - though he was actually secretly thrilled at being able to provide back-up. He turned his steely glare to the two beings on the other side of the room as his portal vanished behind him (it’s never cool to look back at an explosion, and it certainly feels similar when being so dismissive towards a closing portal).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woahhhh what’s that, what are you?!” the red-head balked, clearly fascinated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange lifted his chin, “I’m the current Sorcerer Supreme for this universe.”, he turned his head to address Tony, “Is there a problem here?”. Tony always found Strange’s attempts at nonchalance commendable, if nothing else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah this is some of your lot, they’re doing magic and shit. Won’t let me buy the book, Wizard-Man.” Tony shrugged and gestured to the duo in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>can you deal with this it’s more your thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> way that caused the sorcerer to huff before turning his eyes back to the strange beings across the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blondes’ eyes lit up, “Ohhh yes, we’re wizards aren’t we Crowley? Hocus-pocus and such.” He reached down to remove a coin from the grouchy one’s ear (though it should be noted said coin had not truly originated from said ear).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The red-head flailed his arms wildly at the gesture to prevent it, “Would you stop that! You’d be a crap wizard - you keep killing the doves.” He flipped round and started to bodily climb up A. Z. Fell like a ladder to get into a standing position in a way that aimed to effectuate the most drama.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>A. Z. Fell stuttered in horror, “For goodness sake Crowley! Do you always have to be so dramatic? Just ask for a hand up next time.” He reached down to smooth out the wrinkles that had appeared in his clothes, very conscious of his suddenly rumpled appearance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are not sorcerers.” Strange stated, squinting at the duo, “Or human for that matter. I actually have no idea what they are, I’ve never seen anything like it before.” A. Z. Fell seemed to pale at the insightful knowledge, an incredibly strained smile of innocence on his face that definitely didn’t reach his eyes. He raised his hands in a placating manner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The red-head swung an arm around the blondes’ neck, dragging him over (to Tony it appeared more of a head-lock than a comforting gesture) as he pointed a spindly finger at A. Z. Fell’s face, “Yeah, well, my buddy here doesn’t want to sell you his book - ye got it?! So scram, weird human and magic man!” A. Z. Fell glared at the finger before rolling his eyes and smiling fondly at the other man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are always so much better at confrontation than me, Crowley. I couldn’t bear to start an argument…” The blond looked to the ceiling, a picture of innocence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The grouchy one gave the blonde a side-eye, saying “That’s a lie, but okay.”, which earned him a further glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony sighed, definitely sick of this. He shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and raised his arms, “Look - the picture’s getting a bit clearer now. You don’t need money - you’re aliens or somethin’, alright? I get it.” Tony raised his index fingers, “But I really need to see that book... What if I just made a copy? Or took some notes? I need answers. I have something I think </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” He nods his head meaningfully at A. Z. Fell, “-might like in exchange. See all these books? You clearly got a fetish for knowledge. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Tony gestures pointedly at the sorcerer, “-has your equivalent of a wet dream in his library, full of magic books and stuff. I get to read one book, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> get to read a whole bunch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stephen sighed, realising he wasn’t brought here as a fighting aid, “I can’t just let an unknown creature into-” he was abruptly interrupted by a bright glow emanating from A. Z. Fell in an unabashed display of delight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde rushed forward (still glowing), to grasp Tony’s hand in an enthusiastic handshake, “Deal! That is definitely a deal, my dear boy. Did you hear that, Crowley? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Magic books</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Said red-head had realised too late that person he was leaning on had suddenly moved, and he was currently recovering from falling over and face-planting a nearby bookcase.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley was rubbing at his sore nose - speaking nasally, “Yeah, yeah whatever Angel. What was the point in me even </span>
  <em>
    <span>bein’</span>
  </em>
  <span> here anyway?” He gave out a long suffering sigh, turning to face Tony, “Welp, guess I’ll use the time to investigate why this little twerp is immune to our miracles.” He turned to address A. Z. Fell, “Oi, cool it on the glowing. Keep it in your pants, Angel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange looked between the still faintly glowing, clearly very embarrassed man and the smug billionaire - eyes wide in disbelief, “I can’t let him into the sanctum, Tony. We don’t even know what they are! There is boundless knowledge behind those walls, I can’t let just </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> have access to it. Not to mention it’s really not something </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> can sanction!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Boundless knowledge’ you say, young man? ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Boundless knowledge</span>
  </em>
  <span>’, Crowley! Oh, I simply cannot wait!” A. Z. Fell seemed to entirely ignore the wizard, but he did manage to get his glowing under control.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange crossed his arms, eyes narrowing, “Young man? Hardly, Mr…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, where are my manners! It is a pleasure to meet you, my name is Aziraphale and this one is Crowley. May I ask how we can address you?” This Aziraphale gave Strange an owlish look, clasping his hands and leaning forward in interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange appeared slightly perturbed by how close the other man had got into his personal space, leaning back to try and put some distance between the two of them, “I am Dr. Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme. What you call me is not very important”, Strange pointed shakily at Tony, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> definitely changes it every time he addresses me…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale approached the wizard, hand reaching out to rest on the small of his back and guide him toward the back room, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Steeephen</span>
  </em>
  <span>, an absolute pleasure.”, Strange looked horrified - eyes begging Tony to do something, allowing himself to be helplessly herded away, “Please, do call me Aziraphale. Would you care for a cup of tea? I have the most fragrant…” his voice trailed off as they disappeared into the other room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley sniggered, amused at the turn of events, “Your friend won’t be coming back until he’s convinced him. Probably won’t take more than ten minutes - he’s a weasley bastard, him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony gave him a stiff smile, “Pfft, as if I’m goin’ to complain about someone doin’ my work for me. What are you two anyway?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other man’s nose scrunched up, shaking his head slightly, “Meh that’s not really important, is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A disembodied voice spoke up from the billionaire’s general direction catching their attention, “I have one result for the name ‘Aziraphale’ sir. It crops up a few times throughout history, but seems to originate from alternative versions of Genesis - in which Aziraphale is described as the Angelic presence on earth, guardian of the eastern gate of Eden.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony sharply raised his head in knowing, “Aw cool, so he’s an angel?”, Crowley gave him a look of utter disbelief, “Right on. Your nickname for ‘em is a bit on the nose then, isn’t it? Been around for a long time, eh?”, Tony grinned widely, displaying two rows of perfect teeth in triumph.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley seemed to recover - accepting his fate, “Oh, well shit. Yeah. Guess so. Where did your computer find that information? I’ve made sure to keep any stuff about us off-limits.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s smart. I made her.” Tony shrugged as though this completely answered the question, “If he’s an angel, what are you? Definitely not getting the same vibes here.” he gestured vaguely to the man across from him - he did actually appreciate this guy’s dress sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” the red-head scoffed, “Whilst he was guarding Eden, I infiltrated it. Got into a lot of bother over some dodgy apples.” The man reached up to remove his glasses with one hand, the other out to shake Tony’s, “The Demon Crowley, a pleasure to meetcha.” The demon grinned at him - displaying some very sharp teeth indeed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Upon seeing the bright serpentine eyes, the expression on the billionaire’s face became a feigned wince, “Yikes, that’s some serious jaundice you got there, might wanna get that checked out.” Tony’s eyes lit up in mischief - wiggling his eyebrows, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ohhh</span>
  </em>
  <span> how does that work? Like, with you two then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The demon gave Tony a perplexed look, “What do you mean? He likes cakes, I like plants. We’re not human but that doesn’t mean we can’t have friends and stuff.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Noooo I meant you are total opposites right? Don’t you like, cause a cosmic explosion when you’re - ye know - </span>
  <em>
    <span>infiltrating his garden</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Tony grinned in a very suggestive manner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley’s eyes widened in realisation and he rushed forward, shoving a hand across Tony’s face to cover his mouth, “Shhhhut-up! Keep your mouth shut! He’s fuckin’ skittish as it is, do you know how long it took us to get to this point?! Over 6000 years! Don’t say shit like that, if he hears you he’ll probably not talk to me for a century!” Crowley lowered his hand, having made his point quite clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony rolled his eyes, raising his hands in defeat, “Alright, alright… I’ll keep quiet. I just assumed with the way you two were acting it was a bit more carnal between you two.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The demon glared leaning forward menacingly, “Yeah well you guessed wrong, and I’m not having some twerpy human mess this up for me! I’m not waiting another 6000 years.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you two talking about? Nothing sinister I hope.” Aziraphale hand reappeared in the doorway, forcing an end to the angsty staring contest they had been having.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing!” Crowley quickly righted himself, smiling at the angel like butter wouldn’t melt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing </span>
  <em>
    <span>important</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Tony nodded mockingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah well that’s good. Stephen here was just agreeing to show me his library, I am ever so excited Crowley!” The angel rubbed his hands together greedily as he re-entered the room with the sorcerer in tow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley gestured one arm toward the angel, thumb pointed accusingly at Aziraphale, “Told ye. That wasn’t even ten minutes, he’s getting better at tempting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony was begrudgingly impressed, he nodded in agreement before he turned to address Strange, “Not sure if you’ve been caught-up Doc, but he’s a demon and this one’s an angel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale gasped in shock and he gave the demon a look of utter betrayal, “Crowley! Why did you tell him, I had just come up with an intricate backstory.” He turned to face an invisible audience, arms arching through the air in a grand presentation, “We were both wayward wizards from different dimensions!” There was that smile again, face never settling for one expression over another.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The demon raised his hands in innocence, “I didn’t tell him anything, he Googled your name. Sorry, but there isn’t going to be any dramatic roleplay today. I know how much you like getting into character.” Crowley smirked at Aziraphale as he watched the angel approach him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh hush.” The angel flicked his wrist dismissively as his other hand came up to rest on Crowley’s forearm, “What is ‘Googled’?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony pointed surreptitiously between the two, “You sure you two…?” Crowley gave him a silencing glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange sighed at his predicament, “If it’s any consolation, I didn’t believe your story for a second.” He really didn’t know what he did to deserve this.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eh bit of angst in this bit, didn't set out for it but hey it happened.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Oi, Angel! Are you comin’?” The demon asked, impatient to get started with this adventure. Eternity can get a bit boring on occasion, so he really didn’t want to pass up this opportunity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm?” Aziraphale jumped upon being addressed so abruptly and dropped the slice of cake he had just taken a bite out of. Seems he hadn’t been too off-put by Tony’s handling of the cake earlier to not actually eat it. He stared at the destroyed slice in longing for a few seconds before glancing up at Crowley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The demon sighed in exasperation, “Aw come on, you can just do it yourself.” The angel continued to give him ‘a look’, eyes wide and begging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it wouldn’t be the same, you do it with much more finesse.” It wasn’t until his lower lip started to tremble than the demon gave in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Only this once!” The demon raised his hands in a complicated gesture, and Tony watched in fascination as the cake seemed to rise upwards - falling in reverse. Stephen was horrified, yet in genuine awe of the powerful display.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ahh thank you my dear, you are always so kind!” The angelic smile seemed to light up Aziraphale’s face like a breathtaking beacon as though it held ancient power of its own. He took his second bite of cake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley flinched at the niceties, then leaned over to Tony - whispering under his breath, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s worth it for the smile, if nothin’ else.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tony found himself agreeing. Angelic smiles of delight seemed to have some kind of physical effect on people - like a rush of serotonin (something to research later).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you just manipulate time?!” Strange was giving Crowley a disturbed look. Before the demon could answer Strange continued, “You shouldn’t do that. Especially for just a piece of cake?! Are you mad?! You could tear the fabric of reality!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley scoffed, “Oh yeah? I’m sure you’d know all about that, what with that sparkly trinket you’ve got there.” The demon gestured to the Eye of Agamotto that was currently nestled against Strange’s chest, “You honestly think that the laws of Earth bind me? Nah, different rules for me. You can’t possibly compare yer sad little parlour tricks to my demonic miracles.” Crowley started to snigger, before abruptly falling through a portal that had just appeared under his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony stared down at where the demon had disappeared and watched as the portal closed over, “I know he was a bit of dick, but was that really necessary? Ach who am I kiddin’, nice one. Ever do that to me though and I’ll end you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale - who had just finished eating the cake - approached Tony (licking his fingers to get the last remains of the icing off his fingers), “Ahh is it time to leave?” He glanced around in confusion, “Where did Crowley go? I thought he wanted to get a wiggle on - as it were.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was really impatient, said he’d go on ahead”, Strange smiled tightly, his cloak fluttered to life and he floated over to where the other two were standing before lowering back down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever just walk? What was the point in floating three steps? It’s not impressive at this point. As a seasoned show off, I can tell when you’re just showing off for the sake of it.” Strange raised a single brow - glancing at his cloak as it started to twitch menacingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In mere seconds the cloak left Strange’s shoulders’ and latched onto Tony’s like a face hugger. The billionaire went flying backwards on his ass, desperately clawing the sentient fabric.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They don’t like being referred to as superfluous, never ends well.” Tony continued to grasp helplessly, spluttering in horror - Aziraphale looked entirely troubled, but knew it was best not to meddle in the affairs of humans (or sentient cloaks for that matter, should he incur their wrath). Strange seemed unbothered with the display of desperation and proceeded to create a portal to the sanctum, gesturing for Aziraphale to enter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh how kind of you!” The angel exclaimed as he stepped through it - rather impressed with this human’s abilities (Tony’s predicament completely forgotten). After Strange stepped through himself, the cloak finally detached and reaffirmed itself on the sorcerer’s shoulders. Tony fell forward on his hands and knees, gasping for precious air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well? Would you rather walk?” Strange’s eyebrow twitched upwards in amusement, mocking the fallen billionaire. Tony raised a hand in a placating manner - crawling forward through the portal as he slowly managed to catch his breath, “Don’t fuck… with the cloak… got it.” he wheezed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange watched on with amusement, the portal closing of its own accord, “I genuinely don’t think anyone has ever crawled through a portal before.” Tony fell onto his back exhausted, eyes squeezed shut as he ran his hands over his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you call me dramatic.” Strange grumbled under his breath, Tony raised his arms in defiance, “Can we not just agree, that </span>
  <em>
    <span>we are both dramatic.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Strange tilted his head in acceptance, reaching down a shaky hand to offer the billionaire assistance in standing. Aziraphale had, of course, found the nearest bookcase and was currently muttering excitedly over the titles he had never seen before. Strange had portaled them directly into the dimly lit library - ready to get this over with and hoping to avoid Wong at all costs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The angel had grabbed a book, and ran towards Strange - getting way too close for comfort once more. Aziraphale seemed to lose any sense of respectable physical distance when he was gushing over literature, “This is an ancient book! Do you know how old this is? It’s in almost perfect condition!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange placed a finger on Aziraphale’s forehead to push him gently out of his personal bubble, smiling tightly, “Mm hmm, that’s nice.” The angel seemed unphased at the obvious discomfort expressed by the sorcerer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I think you’re forgetting something, Wizard Doctor.” Tony pointed out from his sprawled position across a nearby desk that he had decided looked comfy enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Strange looked on dumbly, Aziraphale turning to regard the billionaire in slight confusion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The other one?” he gestured his head at the angel, giving the sorcerer a knowing look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes. Oops. That’s the problem with that trick - left someone in there for a week once.” Strange gestured with his sling ring to the side of the room and a portal abruptly appeared in the ceiling. A flailing spindly mass of demon and black wings fell out and hit the floor with a dull thud, feathers scattering everywhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Crowley?!” Aziraphale cried, horrified - the demon just continued to lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling. The angel rounded on the sorcerer - once again in his personal bubble (face expressionless), “What did you just do to him?!” Strange looked slightly admonished, not expecting such a serious reaction from the usually bright being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhh, it was just a simple spell. He was being insufferable so I dropped him into the Vortex of Perpetual Falling. He’s fine, no harm done…” Strange gestured vaguely at the demon - not entirely convinced of his own words and unable to break eye contact with the angel who seemed to get angrier with each word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale slowly started to glow with angelic righteousness, forcing out words that seemed to reverberate around the room as his voice changed to compensate for the over-pouring angelic wrath - like fifty voices spoken in tandem, “No. Harm. Done? Are you obtuse, young man?!” The angel’s form seemed to flicker, eyes all over phasing in and out of existence causing Strange to take a step back, Tony stood up from the desk ready to intervene.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is a fallen angel, you moronic man! Do you imagine that one is endeared to falling after such a thing?!” Strange glanced at Tony in fear, Tony’s eye’s blew wide in realisation and his teeth gritted at the tension as the air continued to get thicker with magic and the room started to shake intensely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost as soon as it started the display was cut so fast the humans nearly had whiplash. Aziraphale gave the sorcerer a venomous glare before swiftly turning and approaching the fallen demon - eyes full of sympathy as he cautiously reached out to help Crowley into a seated position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My dear, are you quite alright?” Crowley’s glasses had been lost in the fall, displaying two emotionless snake eyes. Aziraphale promptly snapped, handing the demon a pair of new ones. Crowley slowly turned his gaze to the proffered item. He nodded shakily, took them and somehow managed to place them on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Thanks.” The shaking didn’t seem to stop. Aziraphale glanced at his wings and winced, “You seem to have lost a few feathers dear, perhaps it’s best if you put those away and I’ll have a look at them later.” He glanced around at the loose feathers on the floor in pity, swiping his hand to send them elsewhere - he couldn’t leave demonic feathers lying about in the presence of humans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley glanced back at his wings on auto-pilot, “I just kept falling, I couldn’t stop it.” His face and tone emotionless, making no move to put his wings away. Aziraphale paled at the description of what he had endured - realising he must have attempted to stay the fall by flying. The angel snapped his fingers to produce a couch near the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on my dear, why don’t you have a sit down over there.” Without waiting for affirmation he helped the demon to his feet, allowing Crowley to rest the majority of his weight on the angel. He gently lowered him to the seat, swiftly miracling in a blanket to drape around his entire form - as well as a steaming cup of tea that he handed off to the demon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am alright. Stop fussin’.” The demon mumbled, though he did find comfort in the small miracles. The angel sat next to him on the couch, adjusting the blanket to make sure it fit snugly around the demon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes I am well aware my dear, you probably didn’t even notice.” He reached up a hand to fix the demon’s haywire hair - not a hint of teasing in his voice as he attempted to convince Crowley himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strange was staring at the duo on the couch, expression unreadable. Tony had approached him at some point during this display, and the billionaire reached out a hand to tentatively touch his forearm. Strange initially flinched but made no real attempt to move away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hindsight’s twenty-twenty. You couldn’t have known, I thought it was funny at the time too…well to a certain extent. There was that time I fell to the Earth after depositing a nuke through a portal into space.” Strange’s features twisted momentarily at his words, before he looked away again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sorcerer approached the two on the couch tentatively, Tony following a couple of paces behind him, “I’m so sorry for any distress I may have caused. I didn’t think-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The angel turned to give him a withering look, “No you didn’t think.” Crowley raised his head to look at the sorcerer, “No angel, it’s alright. He didn’t mean anythin’ by it. I was bein’ a prick, I’m good at gettin’ myself in trouble like that.” His mouth seemed to twitch into a bastardisation of a smile, never reaching his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Strange could say anything further, frantic footsteps were heard rushing toward the scene. A frowning bald man came speeding around the corner, glaring at the group that had invaded his library. He looked between each of the intruders, finally settling on the sorcerer.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>“You better have a good explanation for bringing outsiders into my library, Strange. You can start by explaining why the</span>
  <em>
    <span> entire sanctum</span>
  </em>
  <span> experienced a concentrated </span>
  <em>
    <span>earthquake.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Dunno where this came from, dunno where it's going - guess I'll just see what happens.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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